BY NANCY STOOPS
Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Why do you let everybody run your life? Why do you feel you have no choices and that life can’t ever get better? What is it that seems to keep you stuck? How many times have you asked yourself these questions? Let’s see if we can answer some of these questions.
I think we let others run our lives because we fear we don’t know how to. In terms of feeling we have no choices; I think it’s just a bad habit of limiting our expectations and not having faith in ourselves.
I believe we stay stuck because we get comfortable even if we are miserable. It also takes a lot of energy to change and many times we don’t want to put forth that kind of energy. The alternative is to do nothing and to just stay stuck. We ask ourselves the same questions over and over, and at the time we tell ourselves this time we will finally change. I believe people mean what they say at the time, but then they get lazy when it comes to actually doing the work involved to get to where they want to be.
Please stop assigning blame to everybody and everything except yourself. We all have things that get in the way of our journeys, but it’s also up to us to overcome the adversity that literally stops us dead in our tracks. I get so tired of people telling me they can’t when I know they can, if they would just try harder and fight for the life they want. People are always putting off having the life they want by telling themselves that once they get though this or that, life will improve and be what they want it to be. The truth is that all they are really putting off is life itself.
This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. She is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. Nancy conducts free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727. You may also e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net.
