BY DANICE AKIYOSHI, N.D.
Dr. Danice Akiyoshi
Dear Danice:
My brother brags about everything. His wonderful job, his smart kids, his beautiful wife, his new BMW, his boat, his latest vacation, and anything else that is impressive in his life. I’m over it. So he’s done well in his life, it’s obvious. Why does he have to shove it in my face by talking about it all the time?
Yvonne
Dear Yvonne:
Let’s take a moment to change your perspective. If your brother announced his brain tumor, his bankruptcy, his addiction, his house fire, the failures of his kids, his mean wife – or whatever – you’d be all ears, and maybe even sympathetic enough to offer help. Just take a look at how our society operates these days. When we are doing well, people say things like, “It must be nice. Why doesn’t that ever happen to me? Wish it were me. How’d you get so lucky? He didn’t deserve that.”
Why do people so often offer support to their ailing loved ones, but criticize or shun them when they are doing well? It makes no sense to me; I want everyone to do well!
If your brother is a crashing bore only interested in discussing his own good fortune, then tell him you are bored with constant conversations about him. If you are jealous, then do something about feeling better about your own life. Sharing success stories sounds better to me than sharing tragic stories. All people hope for approval.
Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.
Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.
