BY DANICE AKIYOSHI, N.D.
Dr. Danice Akiyoshi
Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:
I am 30, and my fiancé is 32. We travel all the time. We’ve taken trips all over the world together. I couldn’t have a better match. Now that our wedding is only five months away, he has made a few comments about how long we should wait before we start a family. I didn’t know he had these thoughts, and I don’t know how to tell him that I don’t want any kids. I want our lives to stay fun and carefree. He never makes time for any of his nieces and nephews, so I thought he felt the same way I do. He doesn’t even want a dog because he said it’s too much work and obligation, and would get in the way of our traveling. We are both into ourselves, and I like it that way. I’m not sure if he’s changing or if he’s just trying to do what everyone else does after they get married. I don’t think I’ll change my mind about having kids. I wish I would have known this before we got engaged.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous:
I know you’ll hate to hear this, but now is not the time to remain self-focused or silent. Getting married is like being on a team. You must consider the other person, or there is no reason to become a team in the first place. You admit that you are both self-centered people and enjoy that lifestyle. Is it possible that he is trying to start a conversation to see if you might change your mind and desire children in the future? This is important. Be honest, and admit your true feelings. This is a big issue to consider. You must be on the same page before you get married. Get the conversation started immediately.
Good Luck,
Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.
Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She has a great passion for alternative healing and has over 20 years of experience in this field. She provides a form of energy psychology called The Emotion Code, where she helps people literally get rid of their emotional baggage. She also offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.
